Lost in Vienna, Austria – SPOILERS a non-arthouse arthouse trash movie / Cold

After seeing the brilliant documentary “Robert Tarantino – Rebel without a crew” by Austrian director Houchang Allahyari, I just had to experience Robert Tarantino for myself. But wait, I may have gotten too far ahead. Robert Tarantino, aka Wolf Morrison (his musician name), is actually called Wolfgang, and he is an Austrian “filmmaker”. In the Ed Wood kind of way. And because he is such a great fan of both Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, he just gave himself that pen name. To avoid confusion, I will henceforth call him Wolf Morrison.

And as you can imagine, his “movies” suck. Big Time. But in a kinda hilarious way. The documentary follows Morrison, as he makes his second-to-last movie “Blood City Massacre“. Sadly (well, sort of), I haven’t seen this masterpiece of awfulness. But I had the chance to see his latest movie, “Lost in Vienna, Austria“, a David Lynch-like drama/thriller about the real life death of his girlfriend, who had committed suicide. But even though this is a very serious topic, Morrison almost manages to make one of the most artsy trashfilms since “Rubber“.



As usual, beware of spoilers. Though, dunno, in this case it wouldn’t matter I guess.


Wolf (“played” by Morrison himself) meets the girl of his dreams, Julie (That girl from “Das Werwolfspiel” came back to haunt me I guess). But her love only lasts so long, until the melancholic girl commits suicide. Wolf wants to know why and investigates. And he soon seems to discover the source of her depression: Her abusing boss (“Julie told me that you would be an asshole. But now that I’ve met you, I see that she was right“). But the reason why she killed herself is still missing. Maybe the tape that somehow lands in Wolf’s hands holds the key to that (SPOILER: it does). After some walking montages, 2 extremely long dream sequences and the probably most awesome parents-children talk ever the villain is finally put to justice (it means: he dies). But that doesn’t mean the film is over, as we get to know how Wolf’s music career is going (Gee, everybody wanted to know about that!), watch a videotape containing his final film, learn that he has died off-screen, learn that he has not died, witness his encounter with Julie’s twin sister (no kidding!), watch as they fall in love, scrap our heads as we learn that she is evil, and find out that her twin never really existed. Well-played, Wolf Morrison, well-played.



Honestly, the movie is as bad as “Das Werwolfspiel“, at least, but it is so much more enjoyable. It’s hilariously bad. It’s a rare case of overacting underperformance. As his other movies, the language is English, but due to the fact that he always casts non-actors, who he doesn’t pay, he also gets people who can’t speak English at all, like in “Vampire City 2“, in which the main bad guy speaks German (or some variation of it). But stuff like that results in the aforementioned parents-scene: Wolf pays a visit to his parents’ home in Lower Austria. Being a rebel as he is, his parents understand neither him nor his way of life. Seemingly literally, for he keeps on talking in English, while they’re speaking German.

The camera work is surprisingly ok-ish. I mean, it’s not good, by no means, and it’s in fact very bad, but it’s not like in “Das Werwolfspiel“. Even though it breaks the 180° rule frequently [author’s note: 180°-rule, basic description: see the viewer’s perspective (which the camera provides) as a fixed point in a scene. The viewer is a third person in a room who watches the other two people talking. The viewer’s point of view cannot be altered. If it is altered, then you have broken the rule]

"Wrong" is Morrison's middle name

“Wrong” is Morrison’s middle name

But the best part of the movie is definitely Humungus. The Austrian wrestler is a recurring actor in Morrison’s movies, and apparently always the villain. He is constantly over the top, and it  is enjoying watching him in his scenes. In this film, he only has a small role with a few appearances, and he surprisingly does not play the villain.

Every movie needs more Humungus

Every movie needs more Humungus

Instead, he plays Wolf’s manager, who once made a crappy sex movie with him (?) Yeah that kind of stuff comes up in the last third of the movie, which is really all over the place. If you think the movie ends with the bad guy dead (which many people would have hoped) you would be proven wrong. The movie still goes on for at least another half an hour, and it is nonsensical. Morrison wanted to be like David Lynch, a director he also idolizes.

Whether the whole movie was a dream, a wish of a lonely person or did really happen, is left rather ambiguous. But definitely the movie was made by a  person, who copes with his loneliness by making himself the hero everybody adores.

Since I’ve started writing this article, Morrison has edited his movie and released a 20 minute version called “Cold“. It lacks the hilarious parents’ scene, and also everything else (no Humungus either 😦 ), and is, like the main feature, not to be recommended.

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