Direct-to-cinema: The Last Stand – Arnie’s literal Comeback

Although I’ve seen a lot of movies recently, I decided to make my personal reappearence on this site with a movie that brings back an old, famous action-star: Arnold Schwarzenegger, ex-bodybuilding-world-champion, filmstar, actor, and ex-governor of California.

Arnold Schwarzenegger in “The Last Stand”

He plays the sheriff of a small town called Somerton, near the US-Mexican border. He actually just wants to have a nice, quiet weekend off duty, but when a dangerous drug lord escapes prison and police custody, and races towards to Southern border in the apparently fastest car on Earth, Arnie and his fellow deputies (Luiz Guzman, Jaimie Alexander, Rodrigo Santoro and Johnny Knoxville) must make a stand.

The Last Stand” probably would have been a direct-to-dvd-movie, if Arnold hadn’t picked it as his comeback movie. The story is not much mentioning, and the script is rather awful (well for a would be direct-to-dvd movie it would be quite ok). There’s a lot of exposition, and the FBI scenes (with Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker!) just drag away most of the suspense. A lot of accidental humor comes from Arnie’s accent (turns out he plays an immigrant in the movie. I would have never guessed with a name such as “Ray Owens”), even Jaime Alexander can’t hide a smile in one scene.

Apart from that, the intended humor works fine, and you can get a lot of good jokes out of the film. The action is also great, and you can tell they used real blood and no CGI-created one. It takes some time to get going, but as soon the shoot out in the town begins, the movie never loses its pace.

There are  some old-people jokes, for… you know, Arnie is in his mid sixties. But there are also some references to his own career, that he has been to Los Angeles and knows “the horrors that are about to come“, so that his line to the villain “You make us immigrants look bad“- despite being quite ridiculous – is not only a statement about himself coming from Austria, but also a statement about bad action movies, mostly direct-to-dvd flicks.

There’s also a rather sad scene after someone has died, and you would think it’s just your token movie death, but Arnie and the others play their grief pretty well.

The Last Stand” may not be a good movie, or especially watchworthy for non-Arnold fans, but if you just want a dull action movie, you’ll be very entertained by it.

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