Transformers 3 – Dark of the Moon 3D

Just came home from the cinema from Transformers 3. I ‘ve never been a real fan of the Transformers-Franchise (being too young for the television-series in the 80s, and too old/ educated/ intelligent for the movies). But I wanted to know how Michael Bay would conclude the trilogy.

Well, TF 3 is better than Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen (ok, that’s not that difficult, for that movie is one of the worst ever made), some people also say that it is better than Tansformers 1, which I personly don’t think. Despite being better Than TF 2, TF3 is still a bad movie.

The effects are great, of course, but it lacks in story (story? which story? good joke) and characters. The main Problem begins with the title: It says: Transformers 3. But what is a movie whose title characters are only supporting cast? Our protagonist, our hero (or is he nothing but a messenger? ) is still Sam Witwicky (haha, can you remember when everyone laughed at his name in the first movie?), played again by Shia Lebeof. And boy, he has such a hard life! I mean, he has to share his small two storey-penthouse with his extremely ugly supermodel girlfriend Carly (Rose Hunting, Whirley…Hirley-Wuntingham…I just call her barbie-doll), whose main characteriszation is her butt, and her incredible large lips. Then he has to find a job, which could be rather difficult with a medal of honor by President Obama (seriously, Bay is Republican and likes to remind us of that fact very often in this movie) and a high class college diploma. But fortunately his parents visit him to help him -whether he wants it or not.

But what are his Transformer friends doing? Oh, yes, they protect people…by shooting other people (mostly people from the middle east).The Decepticons meanwhile have set a plot in motion which has been plotted for 40 years – which is weird, because the only Decepticon back then has been Megatron, who has been buried in the ice. weird.

But you shouldn’ bother yourself too much with it, any kind of continuity is totally screwed in this movie.

So, we learn that the space race’s in the 60s, especially the moon landing’s, only purpose was to find the Ark, a Cybertronian spaceship of the Autobots, led by Sentinel Prime (Leonard “Mr Spock” Nimoy), Optimus’ mentor. The Autobots set out to bring him to Earth, as well as the greatest Cybertronian weapon of all: transportation pillars. Sentinel is awakened, but the Decepticons are after him -resulting in a great chase-action scene on a highway, which is totally original and has never been seen before:

Despite that, it really is one of the best scenes in the movie.

But then there comes the revelation: Sentinel has been with Megatron the whole time (pause for dramatic gasp). He betrays everybody, and kills Ironhide (you know, the black Autobot), and then the Decepticons literally take over the world, while Earth’s governments decide to delocate the Autobots in a giant rocket (which is the dumbest thing ever, for the Autobots again being the only ones who could defeat the Decepticons). And Soundwave (The Decepticons’ “Oracle”) shoots the rocket. With the Autobots gone, the Decepticons really rule the world, and want to transform it to Cybertron.

Together with some army friends Sam sneaks into Chicago, in order to rescue his girlfriend,who is held hostage by evil Patrick Dempsey. Then the Autobots return (not for one second you would believe they were in that rocket), and are going to “kill them all”, well, Optimus does, the rest are somehow later captured offscreen.

The movie’s last hour is one huge battle in Chicago, lots of stuff explodes, Sam takes out Soundwave and Dempsey, and Optimus all the others. At the end he faces Sentinel and is about to lose, when a “brainwashed” Megatron (blonde chicks are even fatal to giant robots) intervenes. Optimus then kills both Megatron and Sentinel merciless. Then the movie is over.

critique

God, this is an awful movie. Not only that it has almost none to none plot, it isn’t funny. really, I only laughed three times in this 2 and a half hour action sci-fi comedy.

The actors are bad (and there are award winners in this movie!), and John Malkovich’s role has no purpose other than to steal my time. and Leonard Nimoy… why? jast why? It’s not that he has a small role in this one – HE IS THE MAIN VILLAIN! And there are a lot of references to Star Trek, even before Nimoy appears. But the worst part is a Star Trek II-quote, totally out of context (and beyond any reason): Sentinal says Spock’s famous dying line: “The needs of the many outwage the needs of the few

So, what’s the problem with this sentence? Not only is it used in an awful movie, it also makes no sense!

Who are the few? the nine billion humans? yeah, that’s not much you are right. And the many? those 9 Decepticons? (have you seen any other Decepticon doing something in the film? ) There is no differencebetween the Autobots and the Decepticons, for Optimus does the same stuff the villains do. But he is the good guy, so he will be forgiven…

There is not much else to say about the movie I guess (at least I don’t want to). Just the last thing:the 3D is nonexistent.

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